i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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