oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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