All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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