i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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