Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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