I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize