How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
