I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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