This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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