Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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