R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
