Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
