oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize