There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
