and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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