If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
