I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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