the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
