sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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