forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
