One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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