He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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