Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize