at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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