in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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