He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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