she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
