Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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