I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
