Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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