Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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