youre lurking in front of me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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