ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After tacos, we're chasing women.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
