I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
