He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
