someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
