I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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