Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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