At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize