I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
