Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize