Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
