Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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