Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
