I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize