oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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