she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
