You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
