good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.