i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My butt remains clenched, sir.