You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?