See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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