Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
