Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
