You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
