Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just tell him i said nine months
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
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Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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