I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
