Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
