love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
