What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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