tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
