something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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