Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
