So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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