I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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